Working with couples who are dealing with extreme emotional disengagement can be really difficult.
No need to fear… let me show you some things that have worked over the 3000 couples who have come through our Institute.
Here are a few tips and tricks to help you start drawing blood from your emotionally closed stones.
Watch the video for the full scoop!
Point number one: individual therapy! Putting a patient through couples’ therapy and individual therapy at the same time isn’t usually recommended. It’s kind of a country-by-country thing. A well-meaning individual therapist can sometimes say something that totally spirals into a big problem for your couples’ therapy. If one of your patients is working with an individual therapist, just give them a ring and let them know what you’re doing. It can save you a headache later on.
Point number two: where did all this start? Healthy couples don’t just stop communicating for no reason. Usually, it’s because one or both partners feels like they can’t share their feelings anymore, because they’ll upset the other. The aftermath of a fight is the most useful Gottman Method intervention to use in these situations. Practice with your partner next time you have a disagreement! You’ll be amazed at how effective this method can be.
Point number three: WAIT! If you’re watching the video, don’t read this one yet!
See if you can guess!
It’s a friendship! This is kind of the bedrock of everything we do. Remember, every relationship has friendship at its core.
If you’re interested in developing your clinical skill beyond Level 1 and 2 of the Gottman Method (without doing the Certification Track), you might be interested in our Advanced Gottman Mastermind group. Check out the application here, and we’ll notify you next time it opens.
Hello! Glad to find you from Indiana!
I have a couple who is becoming a bigger problem. They went away for a while and now they’re back. The wife is hyper verbal and he is an Atty who works extra long days. She has 3 boys from another marriage and they have 1 younger son together. He has repeatedly said he feels castrated and can’t seem to do “anything” in their home. I feel she tries to rope me in into siding with her and get him to see that she is right, etc. Last time I saw her by herself and she blamed me for the couple session going so badly. They used to show up late and try to stay over. They are getting better about showing up on time