Sex can be a sensitive subject even when things are going well, doubly so if they’re not.
This question came to me through the Gottman method Facebook page. What do I do if I have someone who’s not physically attracted to their partner anymore?
That’s a real doozy! But, as always, we’re here to help.
This video is chock full of tips and tricks that have worked for some of the over 3000 couples that have come through the Institute here. Watch it now for the full scoop!
Okay, so what are the main points here?
The first is that the first thing you should check on is biology. There are all kinds of physical or hormonal reasons why someone’s partner might not catch their eye anymore! Have your client check in with their doctor. You can also try suggesting some medications to help. Remember, Viagra isn’t just for men!
The second thing to keep in mind is communication. After all, the brain is the biggest sex organ in the human body! When I hear from couples that aren’t having sex as much as they used to, the first thing I always ask is “How often do you talk about sex?” 97% of the time, the answer is something like “Never.”
People who talk about sex are usually the ones having a lot of it! Teaching your couples how to talk about physical intimacy is one of the best ways to start rekindling that flame. Make sure they know there’s nothing to be embarrassed about!
In the last part of the video I talk about a terrific app developed under the Gottman name. If you go to the app store and search for “Gottman,” you can find a couple card sets called “Questions to Ask a Man” and “Questions to Ask a Woman.” As always, try this stuff out at home before deciding if it’s right for your patients!